That’s my super power…. or my kryptonite. I only watch the movies.
I’m 24, recently graduated with nothing exciting in my life. I’m tied to nothing and nothing is tied to me (other than those student loans though, yikes). I’m turning the corner in to the 25th birthday stretch and I am staring my quarterly life crisis early. I figured I should get a head start and begin with the identity crisis. The expensive purchase crisis to follow although I have thought long and hard about it and it could end in an expensive purchase like a plane ticket to a place far away with the intentions of staying for an extended period of time or forever but for now the identity crisis is the main course of thought. One that keeps me up at night and doesn’t let me live during the day. It often begins with the who am I and what is my purpose and ends with less answers and many more questions. I try to think about who I am and what I could possible become and all I can say is that I am defined by my job. Which to me is funny because work is just a way of making money to survive. My job is my job and it’s not my life. I do work in the profession that I spent many years studying and eventually graduating in. I am thankful for that and I do have a passion for my field but not necessarily my job. But none of that matters. It doesn’t matter whether I like my job or not because at the end of the day, that is all I am. I’m concerned. Does it get better? Maybe. Am I in charge of making it better? Yes. Can I make it better? I don’t know. To me work is work and no matter what I do, even if I love it, it’s still my job and when it becomes my job I instantly associate it with a means of making money. Survival. It loses its purpose and its enjoyment. But who am I? Am I my hobbies? Am I my family? Am I my education? Am I my job? I don’t want to be any of those things. I want to be associated with many of those things but I don’t want them to define me. So here I stand, (actually sit, lets be real, I’m lazy) wondering who I am and what actually defines me. What is my purpose and why do I belong?
Thanks for listening.
Photo by me, Cape Cod, MA